A 2022 NBA Draft real-time diary
The Knicks had one of their most chaotic draft nights in recent memory, making an endless stream of trades that eventually landed them outside of the first round. Matthew Miranda recaps the madness in this year’s draft diary.
I’ve been writing draft diaries since 2015. The 2022 draft was by far the weirdest and worst-covered of the lot. You know how fish sauce smells terrible but makes food taste incredible? That was this draft: in a lot of ways it was unappealing, but it brought a lot to diary about.
8:09
Stephen A. Smith is already tap-dancing, choosing his words for Paolo Banchero very carefully while not really saying anything, the way someone sounds when they didn’t do the reading and B.S. like they did. Grad school was where I first encountered people who could spit paragraphs of jargon that added up to zip.
8:10
Consensus was that Jabari Smith would go first to Orlando, yet, oddly, Vegas had Banchero’s odds keep climbing. Vegas was correct. I don’t know how I feel about Banchero’s suit, but it is most certainly one I’ll remember along with those worn on draft night by Jalen Rose, LeBron James and Kevin “Fortnite” Knox.”
8:13
Sometimes I’m a cynic. I don’t like seeing the draftees interviewed with their moms next to them. The moms are a public relations human shield for the NBA. They’re a distraction from the effed-up-edness that is an industry comprised predominately of young Black men somehow making a spectacle out of robbing them of their agency. Ever heard of Alma Deutscher? Sergei Polunin? Erling Haaland? They’re prodigies in music, dance and soccer. They were allowed to go wherever their talents could take them. The NBA doesn’t work that way. The NBA is a safe space for billionaires who worship capitalism while making a cozy socialist treehouse out of their industry.
8:16
Oklahoma City selects Chet Holmgren, whom host Kevin Negandhi calls a “unicorn,” a once-interesting basketball adjective that has been so overused it no longer means anything. What is a unicorn? Kevin Durant is the first person I remember using the word to describe Kristaps Porziņģis. KP was literally something no one had seen before. Holmgren is a highly skilled super-skinny 7-footer whose body may betray him in the pros. That’s a giraffe.
8:17
Negandhi using “Big Brother is watching” as a parallel for Holmgren’s father’s love for his son is exactly the fuck what Orwell was warning us about in 1984.
8:19
Banchero and Holmgren’s mothers were both seated next to their sons, holding microphones, yet neither was given the space to say a single word. This trend will continue through the evening.
8:20
Stephen A yelling about everything he loves about Holmgren... without saying anything at all. Just a prolific pace of shaming oneself. Someone should write a modern version of The Scarlett Letter where SAS is Hester Prynne.
8:21
Chiney Ogwumike is the only person on-air who talks like she’s watched any of these players. They could just have her and Jay Bilas do the draft by themselves and it’d be magnitudes more enjoyable to watch.
8:23
Houston takes Jabari Smith. Negandhi gushes about how Smith “knows basketball doesn’t owe him anything.” I bet Smith knows if he’s lucky enough to pan out like Jayson Tatum or Ben Simmons and earn a rookie max on his second contract, he’ll be underpaid for a decade before he’s finally allowed to leave the team he never chose to join, whose fans will then burn him in effigy and curse at him the rest of his career. And remember: that makes you one of the lucky ones.
8:26
Interesting fact from ESPN: Smith is the fifth Auburn player to go top-5 in the modern draft era that began in 1985: Charles Barkley, Chuck Person, Isaac Okoro, Smith and Chris Morris. Morris was a childhood fave, a scoring small forward who was once so despondent as a New Jersey Net he wrote “Trade me” on the sneakers he wore during a game.
8:27
I’m old enough to remember Stephen A when he was on CNNSI. He was soooo mellow back then. The man knows what sells, give him that.
8:28
I’ve always liked the Sacramento Kings. When they were awful in the 1990s, they still sold out most nights and had rabid fans. The Rick Adelman teams are my favorite non-Knicks team ever. Somehow I convinced myself they’d trade the fourth pick to the Knicks, who would then draft Jaden Ivey. Instead the Kings pick Keegan Murray, and the Singapore chow mei fun I’d thought would be my celebratory feast is now comfort food for a disappointed Knicks fan.
8:29
Keegan is telling Monica McNutt how he always got better grades than his twin brother Kris on the same night he’s drafted No. 4. McNutt asks Murray what this night means to him. Who cares? Get Kris on TV. I wanna know how he’s feeling watching his brother become a millionaire while telling the world he made high honor roll while Kris was “only” on honor roll.
8:32
My first car was a 1988 Chrysler LeBaron I got for $20. It had cruise control, but you had to pay attention because every so often the cruise control would climb on its own, and before you knew it you’re doing 90 on the thruway. Stephen A’s volume is like that tonight. He’s always a little extra. But it keeps rising a little more and a little more. I’m scared.
8:34
Detroit gets Ivey. They’re gonna add him and pro’ly Deandre Ayton to Cade Cunningham, Isaiah Stewart, and Saddiq Bey. The Pistons gonna be good. I HATE the Pistons when they’re good.
8:41
McNutt said Bennedict Mathurin’s brother “passed” after we heard he was killed being hit by a car. I never like when people use “passed” to describe the death of someone who was murdered or died suddenly from unnatural causes. “Passed” sounds peaceful.
8:45
Portland takes Shaeden Sharpe, which feels to me like a trade must be coming. Why add Jerami Grant and continue to try and keep Damian Lillard appeased with competitiveness, only to add a player who hasn’t competed since high school?
8:51
The Pelicans drafted Dyson Daniels, who for whatever reason is always Elfrid Payton 2.0 to me. The Pels were Payton’s first team. Ergo, Daniels will be a Knick in 2028 missing 70% of his shots. For today’s Pels, this seems like a good fit; maybe Daniels fixes the folly of letting Lonzo Ball leave.
8:53
Brikitta Kool is Daniels’ mom’s maiden name. WHY ARE WE NOT HEARING FROM BRIKITTA KOOL?! She sounds like a Marvel character.
Again, on a larger note, other than Ivey’s mom, the head coach of the powerful Notre Dame women’s team, none of the mothers are getting a word in. Why? What’s the point of having them up there to just... be up there?
8:59
Jeremy Sochan’s dad looks like a character from Clue. I would’ve been cool with Jeremy on the Knicks. Not gonna lie. He says if he wasn’t playing basketball, he’d be a detective. I feel that speaks well to his approach. He’s been by far the most effervescent interviewee so far. What a likable dude. Also, WHY WON’T ANYONE TALK TO THE MOMS? Sochan’s mother was a point guard for the Australian team. Seems like someone you’d wanna talk to.
9:06
Washington selects Johnny Davis. The Knicks are next and I have absolutely zero idea where they’ll go with their pick.
9:08
Professional rodeo clown Stephen A and aspiring Knick mascot Spike Lee are making complete asses of themselves acting as if being a Knicks fan is a form of oppression. Door’s right there, fellas. No one’s stopping you from leaving.
9:10
The Knicks choose Ousmane Dieng! WOW!!! I LIKE it! I didn’t dare dream they’d go in this direction, since he’s a project and this front office hasn’t trucked with projects, so this feels really... what’s that? Oh. They’re trading him to the Thunder? Who pick next? OK. OK, cool. The Knicks picked up assets to move down one spot. Nothing wrong with that. Let’s see where this goes.
9:17
Jalen Williams? Must admit I know almost nothing about this cat. I don’t think I saw him linked to the Knicks in any mock drafts. They’re saying he’s “a riser in this draft” and that he impressed at the Combine. They had to measure his wingspan 12 times ‘cuz it was 7-foot-2 and he’s a guard. OK. I can get down with this.
9:19
Williams is the third-ever Santa Clara player to reach the NBA, joining two-time MVP Steve Nash and spectacled porn hawk Kurt Rambis. I’m comfortable projecting Williams’ career to finish somewhere between those two.
Williams is so pretty. Very pretty. Is it OK for me to say that about young men? If I have to ask, maybe it isn’t.
9:21
Word is Williams is not a Knick. They’re getting first round picks from the Thunder, but this isn’t one of them. I’m confused and the details of the deal haven’t come in yet, but New York’s front office has been good the last two years at moving around the draft to add picks. They draft well. They must be up to something.
9:22
Stephen A keeps bitching about the Knicks not taking anyone in the top-12 mere minutes after bitching about the Knicks passing on Donovan Mitchell — who went 13th.
9:26
Jalen Duren called Erykah Badu “old school” and loves watching Friends. I feel old and weird. My college students prefer Friends to Seinfeld, by a lot. How? How is that? What’s happened?
9:33
I’ve avoided Twitter all night, but I want to get details on the Knicks trade(s). This is what greets me there.
9:36
Not gonna lie: I would not have hated the Knicks walking away with Mark Williams and some extra firsts tonight.
9:38
Kemba Walker’s been traded to the Pistons. Vaya con Dios. It’s starting to sound like the Knicks are using the night to shed salary for a run at Jalen Brunson. No offense to Brunson, who deserves whatever bag he can get, but if the Knicks punted on a late lottery pick and traded four second round picks along with Walker to save $9 million and land Brunson, that dude better be Allen fucking Iverson.
9:41
AJ Griffin is a nice pickup for Atlanta. With him and DeAndre Hunter they have size on the wing that defends. Also, I’m a big fan of ESPN getting rid of the “Best Remaining Players” ticker. Maybe it’s getting older, or maybe it’s the cannabis, but I really enjoy the element of surprise that comes with not even remembering who’s left to draft.
9:43
Paul George’s little short video message to Griffin was actually super cute, as were AJ’s reactions to it.
9:48
Wow. Tari Eason going to HOU. They’ve landed as good a group of young talent the past two years as anyone. Tilman Fertitta still blows.
9:56
Call new Chicago Bull Dalen Terry “Space Heater” ‘cuz he is eeeeasy to warm up to. Utterly charming discussing his sartorial sensibility. Walt Frazier gonna like Terry. I guarantee it.
9:59
Jake LaRavia is taken 19th by Minnesota, then traded to Memphis. When he’s announced there is zero applause. Like, nil. It gives me an idea for a short story where a player is drafted by a team whose fan base is entirely made up of slow-burning homicidal inhumans.
10:00
ESPN heads to commercial with a montage of different handshakes between the draftees and their friends and family. I’d easily watch two hours of that rather than the banter/”analysis” we’ve been subjected to.
10:15
Walker Kessler going to Minnesota via Memphis. They say he had multiple triple-doubles that included blocked shots. Kessler getting the “60% of the time” quote from Anchorman wrong (he said 47%) was endearing; saying his favorite place to shop is Five Guys makes him officially a player I will always root for. God bless you, Walker Kessler.
10:20
David Roddy is a BEAST. Size like Anthony Mason, hops like Desmond Mason. The Grizz continue to corner the market on dudes who are fun to watch.
10:25
MarJon Beauchamp landing in Milwaukee feels rich getting richer in the way Superman landing in Kansas was. The U.S. was already a superpower; they didn’t need a superhero on top of that.
10:35
The only way to live this life.
10:36
Ahh, the chef’s kiss spacetime dissonance of Adam Silver talking about the Knicks trading for Jalen Duren an hour after knowing he’s headed to Detroit...
10:54
TyTy Washington is taken 28th by Memphis, then traded to Houston. Big cheers from the crowd when his name was called. Nice. Also, how is Memphis involved in seemingly every single trade tonight? They’d traded or landed half the first round.
11:13
If the NBA were PornHub, the most-searched word the past 24 hours would be “versatile.”
11:14
Christian Koloko is headed to Toronto. I saw his name linked to the Knicks in the second round in more mock drafts than anyone. Apparently he’s a long defender, something Toronto is obviously lacking.
11:38
Bryce McGowens is chosen by Minnesota, then traded to Charlotte. Feels like every pick is announced as “He’s not going there, he’s going here.”
11:45
The Knicks finally add someone they actually hold onto: Trevor Keels, a short, powerful small forward from Duke.
Here’s hoping the next couple weeks include moves that cast this draft in a different light than the immediate glow around it, i.e. the fiery torches of angry Knick fans who got caught up in the Ivey hype. The Knicks were never getting Ivey. They don’t have a move-the-needle piece to tempt anyone into trading out of the fourth spot, even a sucker team like Sacramento. Who did they pass on that really irks you? Once Johnny Davis was off the board at 10, there wasn’t any one player I was feening for.
The Knicks have added draft picks, including another three first rounders of varying protections, and over $10 million in added cap space (Kemba’s contract plus whatever they saved by not drafting someone at 11). If that’s all for Jalen Brunson, that’s going to be disappointing. If it opens things up to add Brunson and someone bigger/better, someone we’re not currently thinking about... maybe that’s cool?
If you’re irrationally annoyed by the night, you have a right to be. The Knicks are forever kicking the can down the road to the promised land they never find. Hopefully we’re not kicking ourselves over this draft five years from now.
